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[02 Jul 2004|07:34am] |
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This was gonna be a real entry but I dont even want to get into all of it right about now. Its not even 730 in the morning and I'm barely awake. So every coherent thought that I am attempting to have right now is completely backwards. I was gonna say something to the affect of certian people need to calm down with the whining (and not tell other people that I am "overwhelming"). Oh and if it doesnt involve you, dont instigate, let it run its course and just stay out of the way. But eh, listen to me or not, doesnt affect me that much either way. Im tired and Im staring down a 12 hour day. Shoot me now.
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[05 May 2004|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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blah, pissy? |
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music |
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The deafening sounds of silence |
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Ok I am offically bored out of my fucking skull.
Someone, anyone, please make an interesting/ entertaining enrty and make my friends page move. I am sick of the fucking silence. Feels like I should be pacing around my little hotel room. This is what happens when my brain tries to leak out of my ears. It is too damn quiet.
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| Happy Birthday Eric! |
[05 May 2004|09:24am] |
We are in Germany!! This is where I will be running about the city and filling up the suitcases. Already found like 6 places I want to go. So Im gonna head out now and make the shopping spree in about three trips back and forth to the hotel. Did I mention that I found a Chocolatier? Yea, Im going out now. Bye!!
Happy Birthday Eric!
Now onto the presents!
( This )
( This )
( And then this just because )
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[29 Apr 2004|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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music |
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HIM- In Joy and Sorrow |
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Want to know the worst thing about being mad on the bus? You can't trash it because it would be completely disrespectful to everyone else on it.
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[14 Mar 2004|08:53am] |
Well now, no one said this was gonna be easy. I went into the studio yesterday. I miss that place a lot. Standing in front of that mic and singing my heart out is my favorite place to be. Everything around you dims and emotion takes over. Nothing can touch you at that moment. You in invinsible. That feeling is the best. There is no way anyone can touch you at that time.
Hm.... I need to get a stroller... yay shopping! :)
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[09 Mar 2004|02:36pm] |
There still isnt much to update. Other than the fact that Mir bought me a teddy bear. That is the high point of the past few days. Im just kinda laying low right now. The down time is nice. Ryan and Mir have been over the house countless numbers of times. Mir needs to be a chef. Fuck playing in a band, he needs to be a chef. No doubts about that. Sadly that is all I really have to say hehe.
Later.
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| Oh So Very Happy Right Now!!! |
[28 Feb 2004|12:16pm] |
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the appointment... yea that went very well! you should have seen Mikey! I have never seen anyone so excited! He gripped my hand so tightly as the doctor explained everything to us. It took all the power in the world not to start crying from happiness! On monday we go back for the procedure. Oh god I hope this works. This is so exciting! I mean, I wouldnt want to be doing this with anyone but Mikey. *kisses mikey's cheek* I am so excited!!
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[26 Feb 2004|01:16pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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So I made the doctor's appointment. Friday... the day after tomorrow!
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[25 Feb 2004|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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So right now there is a lot going through my mind. Mikey we really need to talk and see if you still want to go through with the decision we came to about a week ago. I want to go through with it and I want it to be with you. However, I keep missing you. We have been playing phone tag for some time now.
But right now Im gonna run off and talk to Ryan. I miss him. Havent talked to him in a loooooooooooooooooong time hehe. *hugs ry*
Still gotta kidnap Mikey... hm... how to lure him out?
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[22 Feb 2004|12:00pm] |
My sister had her baby, a little girl. Ana Rose. So now she has hired a nanny and I am now free to go back home. It has been quite some time since I've been there and so much has changed. So much... Doesnt even really feel like home yet since I've been there for maybe three days straight. It is nice to be back. I am gonna kidnap [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] http://livejournal.com/~griffindoll">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] My sister had her baby, a little girl. Ana Rose. So now she has hired a nanny and I am now free to go back home. It has been quite some time since I've been there and so much has changed. So much... Doesnt even really feel like home yet since I've been there for maybe three days straight. It is nice to be back. I am gonna kidnap <a href="<a href="http://livejournal.com/~griffindoll">Eric</a>"></a> and <a href="<a href="http://livejournal.com/~Mike_Cox">Mikey</a>"></a>. Even though I saw Eric about a week ago, it feels like I havent really seen him since before Christmas. And Mikey, god knows how much I miss him. So Im gonna hold the two of them hostage. I will set them free later. I'm just gonna be greedy for awhile. |
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| There are worse things I could do... |
[16 Feb 2004|05:46am] |
1. Drove home and saw the For Rent sign
2. Went in and fell in love with the apartment
2a. It is really time for a change.
3. Gave the realtor the safety deposit
4. Packed eveything up
4a. Got all the dogs stuff
5. Moved out.
I left a note on the table explaining why I couldnt stay. There was also an apology. Time for me to grow up and act like an adult. People may think that I am doing this to run way from all the ridicule and on some level, maybe I am. But I'm doing this because this Little Girl needs something more. So go ahead. Scream at me, call me a whore. But I will never let you see how you hurt me. This is my new home.
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[16 Feb 2004|04:53am] |
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FUCK YOU ALL! I just wont have any friends. Is that what would make you guys happy? Would you like me to delete? I could very easily fucking do that!! So you know what? Im just gonna run away. Apparently, my being upsets all of you. Especailly you. I can do no right. If i upset you that much, why dont you just talk to me about it instead of jumping to conclusions? Do you have any idea how much that hurts? I mean what did I ever do to you to make you act this way with me? I never get a chance. It is always something and then you sign off. I've made mistakes in the past, yes. There is no denying that. I am sure that people have some pretty choice things to say about me. And even though it kills me inside and I cry myself sick over it, i will never let anyone see that. I will not let people see that the way they talk about me kills me. Dex, believe what you want. I can't force you to see things my way. But I wish that you would just talk to me. I can't make excuses for myself. But what I can garantee you is that if you ask me something, I will answer you honestly. I have no secrets. But maybe before you jump to conclusions about someone, you should talk to them....
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[15 Feb 2004|04:39am] |
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This is just it. Dexter, I have told you many times now that I want to be with you. Everything that I have told you is the truth. I dont know why you just wont talk to me. Sitting here, in this internet cafe with purple masscara running down my cheeks is not where I want to be. I wish you were here in LA... I would give anything to just blink my eyes and when they open, have you here with me
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[15 Feb 2004|04:38am] |
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Why is Livejournal being a bitch right now? It keeps eating my real update!!
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[15 Feb 2004|02:20am] |
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HOME!! |
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music |
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Him - Poison Girl |
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It is nice to be home. Even if in all reality i will only spend about 6 hours a night here. All the projects that I am working on have me running around this week. They are on my ass about finishing up the CD so that means early mornings in the studio. Im gonna buy out starbucks and be running off of lattes all day. Agents has some shoots this week which I am so excited for. I love photoshoots with guns. Then at some other point we are doing some reshoots for the movie The Hillz. But that is whenever they call me. Yay for not knowing my schedule! whoo hoo! It would be nice to go out dancing some night this week. Im gonna steal Dominiana and take her out with me. Hell I will even pay for the babysitter!
( Oh and this is for Eric )
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| Forgive me. |
[14 Feb 2004|07:56am] |
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Eva Cassidy - Songbird |
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Yup! Everyone has know this for a while and over the past few days i have noticed it too. I, Kristyn Emilye Loya, am a screw up when it comes to relationships. Hell, just tonight i said something totally backwards and blew my chances with a person that i really like. I hope that person forgives me for my stupidity and gives me a new chance. What I said was stupid and I dont know why I really said it. In my mind I thought that if I said that the person i liked was you, you would freak and runaway...
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| I'm gonna buy back memories. |
[09 Feb 2004|11:47pm] |
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 rushed |
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Ryan talking to Glam and packing her up to go with him.... |
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sorry... I gotta go out of town again.... um... you can try calling my cell but i dont know if i will have it on that often.
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| Visiting my bubble of reality |
[09 Feb 2004|06:38am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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So i met a really sweet girl tonigt. Her name is Sarah and she is such a sweetheart. Too bad she is all the way in England so that makes meeting her face to face a bit tough. But it is nice to talk to her. I swear if I ever get across the Atlantic, I am stealing her and we are going shopping! There is no doubt there.
Things have settled down... a lot. And for that I am more than glad!
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| "I'm alright, I'm alright...... |
[08 Feb 2004|08:26am] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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........ it only hurts when I breathe.."
I needed something tonight. And when it wasnt there, i'll admit it, i was very disappointed. But then I realized something. Sometimes people arent who you think they are at times. However, to the person that was there for me tonight, i can't say thank you enough. You stopped me from going back to an old habit just by talking to me. *hug*.
But sometimes I feel like I get walked on by some people. People that I really care about and would bend over backwards for dont notice that I may need them for a moment. I feel guilty for this. I know everyone is going through their own stuff but is it too much to ask to just have someone be there for me?
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